'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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