How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have aggressive nipples.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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