i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also, beer. Big fan.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
