and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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