You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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