I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
