Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
