And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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