this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
