I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
