D3 body, D1 cock
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
