He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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