when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
