Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize