Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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