i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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