4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
