Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
