oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
