I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
