When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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