if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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