4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The adults are the big ones right?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
