yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize