Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
