When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
