i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
