Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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