Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
