If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
