you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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