I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
