hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
