I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
