They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
