this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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