You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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