apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
