so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
