You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
