At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
