i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
3 2 1 whiskey
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
