I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
