I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
