trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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