did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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