I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
