my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
