Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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