I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
