He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
