She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
