girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
