My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
