Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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