Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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