Walk of Shame. In a state park.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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