when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
