Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize