PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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