I want to walk on stilts...naked
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
where are my eyebrows?
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