my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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