drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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